Funny Christmas Wishes & Messages
Sometimes the best gift is a good laugh. Here are Christmas wishes with a wink – for the people who'd rather laugh than cry over another fruit cake.
20 wishes · copy them or send straight to WhatsApp
✍️ Add a name – every wish instantly becomes personal
Cheeky & silly
Merry Christmas! May your wifi be strong and your family gatherings be short.
Wishing you a Christmas with more presents than family drama.
Merry Christmas! May your stretchy trousers survive the day.
Here's to a Christmas dinner where nobody mentions politics.
Wishing you exactly the right amount of eggnog – not one glass more.
Merry Christmas! May Santa forgive your questionable life choices this year.
Wishing you a holiday season with zero awkward relatives at the table. Good luck with that.
Merry Christmas! May your gifts be many and your returns be easy.
About the food
Wishing you a Christmas dinner so good you forget your New Year's resolutions already exist.
Merry Christmas! May your turkey be juicy and your naps be uninterrupted.
Here's to eating like it's a competitive sport this Christmas.
Wishing you leftovers that last well into January.
Merry Christmas! May the roast potatoes be crispy and the gravy be endless.
Wishing you a Christmas dinner where seconds don't count as a decision.
About the chaos
Merry Christmas! May the tangled fairy lights be someone else's problem this year.
Wishing you a Christmas morning with fewer batteries missing than last year.
Merry Christmas! May you find the "some assembly required" instructions before midnight.
Here's to surviving the group chat until Boxing Day.
Wishing you a Christmas with just the right amount of chaos and just enough wine.
Merry Christmas! May your gift wrapping look better than it did last year. No promises.
More Christmas wishes
Frequently asked questions
What's a funny thing to write in a Christmas card?
Something that plays on the chaos of the season – food, family or fairy lights all work. Keep it light and aimed at yourself as much as them.
Is a funny Christmas wish okay for everyone?
Save the cheekier ones for close friends and family. For colleagues or someone you don't know well, a warm short wish is the safer bet.